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why cant i help this?
this feeling of inevitable doom.
i try so hard to shake this
feelings so regrettable and unforgettable too.
I wish you would notice.
notice me falling fast away from you.
now its so hard to focus
blinded by the love lost in my thoughts of you.
And just across the horizon
within a fog watching the clouds at dusk with you,
I contemplate fading out
to black because the fact is the world is cruel
so i look beyond it
seeking solace from any malice in a golden rule
trying to be a hero
after being a such a villain, willing to try something new.
And I hope you appreciate
that God has probably punished me for what I did to you.
Funny thing about it is
my heart has been torn apart so my view is askew.
perhaps these notions are bogus
perhaps in a universe parallel none of it is true.
or perhaps in one kiss
such bliss would seem too abysmal for me to subdue
or even perhaps still
this uncertain future of ours will soon become unglued
but as I now write this
with a pensive pen, trying so hard to construe.
I hold back nothing
nothing left to hold but myself thanks to you.
my mind is a canvas
in it I painted a mural of acrylic for you
when it rains I’m dancing
watching the paint melt so I can start anew
but slowly I’m losing it,
these vented feelings have now sought refuge
but slowly I’m losing it,
my beauty is fading waiting for this to ensue
now i feel so ugly
hiding in a tower, powerless and in solitude,
because now I feel nothing
apathy is my friend as I fall out of love with you.
yes my dear,
I’m now falling out of love with you.
it’s sad but be glad
I’m finally falling out of love with you.
I’m so tired.
Tired of walking this road in a labyrinth of Daedalus,
each turn leads nowhere but back to the begining;
To the start in my heart.
I am sinning.
I am Icarus.
These wings of feathers and wax,
my only escape.
I wear them like a cape,
imagining myself now to be a superhero.
I fear no thought of death,
for this labyrinth is death.
I feel dead here, as much as the dead can feel.
These wings are taped to my back.
These wings of feathers and wax.
Too high and the Son
will burn my wings and melt the wax.
For I am no longer an angel,
as my wings have been clipped at birth
He feels this is blasphemy.
Too low and the ocean will swallow me
I wallow in my thoughts for a moment.
I care no longer of what is to come
I must fly.
Not too low and not too high.
I run and leap out of this maze
I weep with joy and I fly amazed.
How grand this moment is.
20 minutes past 4.
How grand this moment is.
I laugh at each turn,
higher and higher I go.
Until my feathers begin to burn.
Higher and Higher I continue to go.
The wax scorching my back
The pain becomes my pleasure
Higher and I Higher I continue to go.
Until I realize I have no wings.
I was flying without them.
But now reality has sunk in.
I am truly fucked.
Gliding towards the grand sea.
Riding the clouds towards destiny
Laughing all the way,
for I was happy and free for a moment.
That is all that mattered.
Into the sea I go.
I am swallowed whole.
There is a black hole inside your soul much like there was in mine
but deep within this dimension of time there shines a light;
a star from deep within my mind
past, present and future is all one.
My world now – it all seems divine
for I am a starchild, my dear,
the universe i drink like wine.
she is so fine.
Slowly this eighth light of mine moves too far for you to see.
or is it perhaps that you are slowly moving away from me.
This black hole was once a living star that shined bright and free
and now it feels like a void,avoiding any chance for you to be
a living breathing star like me.
but soon like the phoenix from its ash,this black hole will be of the past
and a star will be born again, in the center of your soul.
And I hope this time it will last.
But think fast, my dear.
I will be watching from afar and within
such am I.
1 and All.
I still question: what are you?
The Ghost of A Star, Skewed from my view
In Time wounds heal but scars still remain
Like stains on white scarves.
Carved in deep, ’til you weep from the pain
Insane is the man who leaps off the ledge.
On the edge of existence, persistence to be pledged.
Thoughts become universal as they project through closed minds.
Reversal of the soul then injects resurrection.
Perception of perseverance gives clearance to the mind
To continue and adapt to the wounds in adherence with time.
So goes on the cycle.
All rivals await you arrival.
Antagonistic anarchists curse your survival.
Lovers tear you hear apart;
Eros’ arrows are now scarring darts,
Piercing through tough skin,
knocking you back to the start.
Friends become foes,source of all your woes.
Love them tender anyways.
Kill them with kindness blows.
Its tough though,these snakes bite slow.
Much like my insight ignites the night glow.
Wisdom of a sage, these words hide the rage caged in a maze.
Amazed you read this; my words imagery invokes wizardry like a mage.
Burn this page in a spiritual ritual,
let the angels visit you.
then accept life with these habitual visuals.
Read each line;
let our minds become in synch.
Linked for a spare moment
all thoughts that you think.
you are now on its brink.
Open up your mind and let your soul sink.
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